I'm back!

Hello Friends,

It's been a good while for me...I eat well & exercise, then lose my "control",
and it continues as quite the cycle!

I am back on track again! This time, I would like to thank my facebook Weight Loss
group. The group members are really encouraging, motivating, and keeping me
accountable.

I WANT TO DO THIS!!!!! I want to feel the peace and serenity that come with eating
well & exercising!

Hugs,

May

Doing pretty good!

Hello Friends,

I have been doing quite well since last week's post, yayyyy!!!!
Whenever I want to eat I read OA literature, call a phone meeting,
and use my imagery tool!

I've been eating well and just weighed 162!! Yayyyyyy!!!

Hugs,

May

Imagery as a tool to overcome my bingeing disorder

Hello Friends,

Is it really already July?!?!?!??!! WHAT???!??!?!??!! Sadly, I am at around 165 lbs or so. Yes, I have gained. Doesn't matter how many miles I ran last week, binge eating is not cancelled out by the exercise.

OA is not enough, & I REALLY use all the tools & work the steps!! I was even told by my sponsor that I'm just not
willing to give up the foods, follow the directions I'm told...it's that the food takes on a life of its own in my brain!

Yesterday I had a small revelation which I pray WILL be the answer to my problem.

IMAGERY: I closed my eyes & imagined ordering all I wanted & planned to order: my typical binge that I absolutely love is
about 1/2 a pizza with mushrooms, 1/2 a cheesesteak hoagie, 6 hot wings w/blue cheese, & lots of fries w/cheez whiz.
for dessert: a huge cinnamon bun, a brownie, some candy bars, ice cream.

I imagined how amazingly delicious all of this food was for several minutes. Then I imagined the moment I was done.

I FELT LET DOWN. I LET MYSELF DOWN. I CAN'T TURN BACK. I REFUSE TO PURGE. I'M A WRECK. I FEEL SICK & DISGUSTING. I AM ASHAMED.

And I opened my eyes & WAS THRILLED THAT I DID NOT, NOT, NOT do it!!!!!!!!! I felt elated, ecstatic, thrilled, amazingly powerful over this eating disorder.

Yes, I had read OA literature (www.oa.org), emailed OA friends, talked to my husband, wrote about it in my diary, & visited www.bingeeatingtherapy.com. But using imagery was quite powerful.

Hugs & more hugs to you!

May

I have an OA sponsor!

Hello Friends,

Between my last post and the present I have gained well over 10 lbs and
am now in the 160's. It has been feeling impossible to eat well.

I have had an OA sponsor for 10 days and it has made such a
huge difference in my life that I have been abstinent (not overeaten)
in 10 days!!

This is quite a journey for me. I am working the program to which
I'm so glad that it helps in every part of my life. www.oa.org

Hugs,

May

Hard times

Hello Friends,

I am having such a tough time eating well so I have resorted to
exercising almost daily because it makes me feel in control of myself enough
to eat well. It is a domino effect for me...it makes me WANT to eat well!
It's been helping the last couple of weeks definitely! I am a little over 150 right
now.

Hugs,

May

I love OA!

Hi Friends,

I absolutely love my OA fellowship, I definitely don't feel alone in my healthy eating venture! The way the quality of my life is improving, it is showing in my weight--I am about 145 right now.

I am eating "normal" portions and exercising about 3 times a week. Please write me, I'd love to hear from you and love to have friends to support and that will support me.

Hugs,

May

I'm 33 today!

Hi Friends,

Here I am at 33 at around 148 or so, and I would NOT be at this number right now if it had not been for the OA fellowship.

I am happy with how I am doing with eating and exercising:-)

Hugs,

May

1 month of OA!

Hi Friends,

I've officially been in OA now for a whole month
and I've got to say with all of my heart how the
fellowship has made all of the difference in my
eating obsession issues.

I was up near 160 right before OA and now I am
at 148. I would not be eating well alone, it is
with the fellowship that it is possible for me.

Hugs,

May

8 days of OA mtgs

Hi Friends,

So it's been 8 days that I have been attending OA phone
meetings and they have totally changed my life. I feel
inspired & supported by them and just love the ability
to pick up the phone instead of the food.

Hugs,

May

Overeaters Anonymous

Hello Friends!

Back in 2005 I had attended a couple of OA meetings in person,
but was not truly ready for it.

I rediscovered OA on Saturday and have been on telephone meetings
each day since. I am truly obsessed with food and am happy to know
that at any moment during the day or night, I can go straight to OA
for help. www.oa.org

Hugs,

May

Update

Hi Friends,

I have been having a tough, tough, tough time sticking to
eating small & healthy portions, BUT I am trying to exercise
daily so that it motivates me to eat healthily.

It is so very tough, but giving up is NOT a choice.

This really is a life marathon.

Hugs,

May

Thanks, Andrea!

I want to send out a special THANK YOU to my running
and weight loss friend, Andrea, for being so supportive
and inspiring!

Hugs,

May

New achievement!

Hello Friends,

I completed my first 10 miles yesterday, yes with breaks and walks, but still 10 whole miles, WOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs,

May

Happy Valentine's!

Hello Friends,

I'm doing pretty good with my running, WOW! I would love to be in a 1/2
marathon with one of my running friends soon:-) I am working on 3-4 miles
4-5 times a week, with an occasional 6 miles.

Exercising helps me eat well, it creates a good cycle of watching my
eating behaviors and keeps me motivated to NOT overeat.

Hugs,

May

Updated pic

Hello Friends,

Here is a new picture of me!! We can do it!!
Eat well and exercise--just push!! I am slowly
trying to prepare for a 1/2 marathon!!

My tricks for eating "normal"...

This helps me when I desperately want to binge:

1. email weight loss friends asap (like me!)
2. down a large glass of water to kind of fill you up
3. drink caf-free coffee w/artificial sugar w/skim milk
4. eat fruit/veggies (i'd rather overdo w/fruit than junk even though i know it's lots of cals!!)
5. go to JC chatroom
6. if you still want to eat bad, TRY to make it work w/the day-for example-i overate leftover chicken and a bowl of cereal BUT did not have anything else after that & i exercised so it was equivalent to eating just the right amt of cals
7. lots & lots of gum
8. low cal/healthy treats: www.vitalicious.com
9. go look at OLD pics to motivate you NOT to do it b/c you don't want that again
:-| that vicious cycle :-(

Hugs,

May

Happy New Year 2010!

Hello Friends,

Happy New Year 2010!!!!!! WOW, what an amazing number!

So far doing great with exercise and eating well:-)

Hugs,

May

Something new!

Hello Friends,

I got a stationary bike in my bedroom! This way I have no excuse! It is something to do while watching television! I put it together today and already did 8.5 miles on it and also jogged my 2.6 miles! I really want to see if it helps me do better. I have been doing really bad overeating and I know for sure that exercise really helps me psychologically to NOT overeat.

Let's see how this bike at my bedside helps!

Hugs,

May

Merry Christmas!

Hello and Merry Christmas!

Today I did pretty well NOT going nuts with everything I saw to eat and I even exercised 2.75 miles! I love my new treadmill I just bought last week. I love being able to exercise any time, any weather, right in my own home!

I am really proud of me because I have now maintained between 140-150 for 2 whole years, WOW! I do have my falls and they can be really bad gorging events, but then I start over as best I can and it really does make the difference. Of course, exercising really does motivate me NOT to eat poorly. I also hate the feeling of being out of control when I overeat and the feeling of being huge and uncomfortable is plain...what would be the word...yuk.

In this picture, I am with my little one who turned 5 on Dec. 8th.

Hugs,

May

I'm doing ok!!

Hey out there!! Anyone visiting my blog?? Write me!!!!!!!

I can't believe I haven't written for so long!!!!! Well, I was on and off with good and bad times involving food, but but but!!!!!...I feel I'm doing super well!!!!!!! I am weighing in at 145/6 and am thinking that every single thing makes a difference...not eating more of this or that...WILL make the overall difference in not overeating. Remembering how I'll feel a certain feeling of shame afterwards helps me NOT overeat most of the time.

Hugs and remember you CAN do it!!!!

May

Happy Holidays!!

Hi Friends,

I am doing pretty good! If I make a bad decision I start fresh immediately, that really makes the difference. Knowing that I'll feel great after exercising is my real motivator for getting on

that treadmill!

Hugs,

May